People now of days are always are looking for love. They even at times look for it in all the wrong places. We all want and need love and this usually develops through a relationship. People try to have happiness in their relationships. It can be found by spending more time with a loved one, unconditional love, and cultivating over finding.
In my house hold “love” was not a word that was mentioned frequently. I had a rough childhood due to the fact of my dad leaving my mother, sisters and I, and with my mom passing when I was five. My sisters and I lived with my grandmother and aunt who were our guardians. My grandmother was the one who practically raised me and my sisters because my aunt had to work all the time. My aunt never took the chance to make a special bond with any of us. She never took the chance to just hang out and get to know us. She never said she loved us. A few times my grandmother told me and my sisters that she loved us. She was the one to show us affection, and always had that shoulder to lean on when we were feeling low. Since my aunt never made that connection with me and my sisters when we were little, it’s harder to get that bond with her now. Many times we have tried to do exciting things with her and it fails. It failed because she did not want to put that step in to see who we really were. If she spent more time with us, I believe that our relationship would be happier and better.
When we are around our parents and guardians while growing up, it creates a stability feeling to be who we are and feel okay to make mistakes. We feel secure because we know that they love us unconditionally. When a child feels like this, the parents do not need to always be around the child because they know that they are loved unconditionally. Tal Ben Shahar describes, “Unconditional love creates a parallel circle of happiness in which we are encouraged to pursue those things that are meaningful and pleasurable to us.” If this was present in my life, I would be able to be open with my aunt. Since I never got the chance to fully be around her and grow with her I lack the feeling of unconditional love. To have happiness in a relationship you need unconditional love to be present because with that we are able to pursue our true dreams and be the person we really want to be.
Many people think that there is that one special person out there for them and that they are their match made in heaven. Tal Ben Shahar states. “The mistaken notion that finding love guarantees eternal bliss leads partners to neglect the journey-the day- to -day issues, activities, and events that shape the relationship.” In enjoying the little things, the moments and semi-arguments can actually benefit you and your partner’s relationship. They always say people grow in their relationships by arguments and it shows progression. I think it is true because you can work out issues and see the other person’s opinion. In doing events that themselves and the partner likes, shapes the relationship and starts a good foundation. You get to know more about each other where is can be the solid ground for happiness in a relationship.
No comments:
Post a Comment