Blog 7 Thankful & Grateful

     Thanksgiving is almost near and I am grateful for many things in my life. Thanksgiving is a time where me and my family come together and have a great time sharing each other’s presence and what we are thankful for.  I am grateful for life for starters. Having the opportunity to walk this earth and breathe is truly a blessing. I am thankful for God giving me such a wise and gifted grandmother to raise me and show me the right way to live. I am grateful for each and every one of my sisters because in their own special way they teach me how to be a better person.  I am thankful for my cousins and extended family because they bring me joy and laughter. I am thankful for my lovely dogs because they keep me smiling.  I am thankful to have clothes, water, food, and shelter, because they are many people out there in the world who are unfortunate and do not have those necessities.  I am thankful for my best friends, who are always there for me, and give me good advice. Last but not least I am thankful for the world.

Draft

In life many people strong and stable romantic relationship. When couples love and accept each other for who they are, it can lead to a healthier and better relationship. People can be happier in their relationships by building a solid foundation based on each other’s character. By evaluating each other’s core self, validation vs. knowing and time spent together can be shown how relationships can be happier.

            When we are in love with that special person or significant other at times we are afraid to show our true self. We are afraid of what they might think or how they might look upon us.  Our core self is our true character deep down inside where all our desires dreams and interest lies.  This is what makes us who are. When we show that loved one this precious gift inside of us we want them to accept it. If they do not then it can lead to us not wanting to be our selves around them. We would feel shy to do things, or feel that we might say the wrong thing. When that person accepts our core self it gives us the motivation and comfort to be ourselves around them because we know that they love us for who we truly are. That even if we do something awkward or like the weirdest things we will not be looked at anyway because no matter what we are accepted. Tal Ben-Shahar states, “To be loved for our wealth, power, or fame is to be loved conditionally; to be loved by our steadfastness, intensity, or warmth is to be loved unconditionally.” To have unconditional love depends on your love for the other person’s core self. By knowing your partner’s core self can help bring more happiness in your relationship.

            In building a stronger and happier relationship people need to want to be known than validated. Schnarch says, “To cultivate genuine intimacy the focus in a relationship must shift from the desire to be validated- seeking approval and praise- to the desire to be known.”  The process of being known never ends because it is that persons passions and desires.  Most people when they are in a relationship they want to be approved by their partner and they validate themselves. They feel that they need the admiration from that person and it is not until they want to be discovered for whom they are that can grow with their partner. We can cultivate our intimacy by knowing and being known. We can then deepen our intimacy by acting on our knowledge of one another-engaging in activities that are meaningful and pleasurable to ourselves as well as to our partner. (Tal Ben-Shahar p121)

            Spending more time with a loved one can always help bring happiness into your relationship. If both people in the relationship are rat racers they would not be happy in the long run because they would always work for the present. Also they would not spend as much time together. This can cause stress on the relationship and it can be difficult to grow.

Blog 5 Happiness in Relationships

People now of days are always are looking for love. They even at times look for it in all the wrong places. We all want and need love and this usually develops through a relationship.  People try to have happiness in their relationships. It can be found by spending more time with a loved one, unconditional love, and cultivating over finding.

                In my house hold “love” was not a word that was mentioned frequently. I had a rough childhood due to the fact of my dad leaving my mother, sisters and I, and with my mom passing when I was five. My sisters and I lived with my grandmother and aunt who were our guardians. My grandmother was the one who practically raised me and my sisters because my aunt had to work all the time. My aunt never took the chance to make a special bond with any of us. She never took the chance to just hang out and get to know us. She never said she loved us.  A few times my grandmother told me and my sisters that she loved us. She was the one to show us affection, and always had that shoulder to lean on when we were feeling low. Since my aunt never made that connection with me and my sisters when we were little, it’s harder to get that bond with her now. Many times we have tried to do exciting things with her and it fails. It failed because she did not want to put that step in to see who we really were.  If she spent more time with us, I believe that our relationship would be happier and better.

                When we are around our parents and guardians while growing up, it creates a stability feeling to be who we are and feel okay to make mistakes.  We feel secure because we know that they love us unconditionally.  When a child feels like this, the parents do not need to always be around the child because they know that they are loved unconditionally.  Tal Ben Shahar describes, “Unconditional love creates a parallel circle of happiness in which we are encouraged to pursue those things that are meaningful and pleasurable to us.” If this was present in my life, I would be able to be open with my aunt. Since I never got the chance to fully be around her and grow with her I lack the feeling of unconditional love. To have happiness in a relationship you need unconditional love to be present because with that we are able to pursue our true dreams and be the person we really want to be.

Many people think that there is that one special person out there for them and that they are their match made in heaven. Tal Ben Shahar states. “The mistaken notion that finding love guarantees eternal bliss leads partners to neglect the journey­­­-the day- to -day issues, activities, and events that shape the relationship.”  In enjoying the little things, the moments and semi-arguments can actually benefit you and your partner’s relationship. They always say people grow in their relationships by arguments and it shows progression. I think it is true because you can work out issues and see the other person’s opinion. In doing events that themselves and the partner likes, shapes the relationship and starts a good foundation. You get to know more about each other where is can be the solid ground for happiness in a relationship.

In my findings..

In my life I was just living and being my normal everyday self, but today in class we had to ask ourselves what are we good at, whats our pleasure, and whats meaningful to us. I had never really thought about what I was good at so it was kind of difficult to get it down on paper. My pleasures came to me more easy because I love to sing and dance. Also what was meaningful in my life. I realized that I am a very generous person and love to care for others.

Happiness and work-Blog 4

        Many of us choose a job and a career path that we think will just bring in good income. If we do this we sometimes loose that way of true happiness. In reading the article Happiness in the Workplace it said that we have to a meaningful and pleasurable job. That we must find what in life we want to do rather than what we are good at.
             In the world we live in today we get caught up in just making a lot of money and we forget what really makes us happy. Tal Ben Shahar states, “When our first question is, “what can I do?” we give priority to quantifiable currencies; when our first question is, “what do I want to do?” our choice is driven by our pursuit of the ultimate currency. In my junior year of HS when I was asked by teachers and students what I was going to major in college, I asked myself what can I do and what was I good at. With that I came up with biology because I always did well in my biology classes. I never really considered the thought of what I wanted to do because I knew that there would be a possibility of low income. With people always saying that performing arts can lead you to nowhere in life, I was afraid to pursue it.  I made it an “unattainable” in my mind due to the society and people I was around. After reading many articles on happiness I learned that finding that job and career path towards happiness you need to include meaning, and pleasure. That you can apply what you want to do and what you are good at to have a sustainable job.  That anyone can achieve what they really would like to pursue in the future.

Happiness in Education

            In this society people go to school to receive an education that will help them attain a good career.  In that determination some people lose their desired passion, creativity, and do not enjoy the process of school. Many lose their happiness in education because they major in a career that they think will pay bills instead of the career they always dreamed to do. To gain happiness in my learning, I need to customize my education to fit my artistic side and my interest in physical therapy. By analyzing my interest, strengths and weaknesses, how I learn, and my goals for the future; I can be happier in acquiring my education.

Ever since I was a child I love to sing and dance. I am currently with an organization called IMPACT Repertory Theatre. We sing, dance, act and also bring forth how to be a leader and change the world in a positive way. I like helping others get better and assist them gain function in their body; so I chose physical therapy as my major in college. Although I sing and dance outside of school in a program, I would like to minor or major in dance and vocals in college. I believe that if I did both PT and performing arts, I would be happier in getting my education.

Many people in school have both strengths and weaknesses.  I am at my strongest abilities when I do my work in the morning around 9:00-11:00. When teachers use pictures and videos in class it helps me picture the topic and actually visualize the concept of what he/she is trying to teach. I work better when there are a few noises around me, but not too loud. If I study and then take a nap, more of the information would be stored in my memory, rather than staying up studying threw the whole day studying. I perform at my worst when I procrastinate. My weakness is going on a website if I am trying to type a paper. An example for this is the website facebook. I lose my focus and also my time management.  I am sometimes shy, so I get scared and timid to ask for help from teachers and counselors when I’m struggling with a situation. At times I am very lazy and put off my homework and duties.  If I work on my weaknesses and gain more strengths I would be one step closer to being happier in learning at school. I would ask for help when I do not understand something in a class and stay focus on my goals in life.  By overcoming my laziness, it would help me speak to a counselor to get ideas of how I can do both PT and performing arts in college.                                                              

In the article of Happiness in Education it explains that in school children need to follow that path that gives them pleasure and meaning.  Psychologist Csikszentmihalyi discovered "flow" and states, “When in a state of flow we enjoy both peak experience and peak performance: we experience pleasure and perform at our best.”  In this state we are doing something constructive that gives us enough of a challenge and is equal to our skill level; that does not make us feel anxiety or boredom.  My personal example of flow is doing math problems that are not too hard where I feel over challenged, but I enjoy the process of getting the answer. We are also at times persuaded to be a rat racer and ignore the feeling of something we love to do that gives us pleasure. With us pushing away that feeling we also lose our creativity.  In the video with Ken Robinson he states that human beings are growing out of creativity because we are afraid of being wrong and making mistakes. This shows that people need to pursue an education where you can be productive, grow, and also receive pleasure; to not be afraid of making mistakes, because mistakes help us keep our originality. "Flow" helps you enjoy learning in school and getting a good education. 

 My dreams for the future are to do the two things I love to do and have an occupation that brings me joy and is sustainable. Joining more clubs and being involved in more activities can also help me be happier in school.  I can take a course outside my field like photography and keep a scrap book of all my pictures.  Doing physical therapy would help so many people with their movement and ability to function well.  I am aiming to get my own clinic and do my own private practice. For performing arts I would like to take classes so I can be better and enjoy my talents. Me adjusting my education would help me succeed and also have happiness.

            In customizing my education I analyzed what I like to do and pursue as a career.  I discovered my interest and know I want to do performing arts and physical therapy in school. In doing both I know it would make me happier in obtaining a good education. I also analyzed my strengths and weaknesses. In order for me to get to my goals of singing, dancing, and PT I need to stay focus and stop being lazy. I need to ask my counselors how I can reach this goal and follow my dreams. If I follow Csikszentmihalyi ideas of "flow" I can enjoy learning new things and it can help me to keep pushing myself forward. If I keep a positive thought and use all these tools in getting my education I know I will find happiness and satisfaction.

Blog 2 Happiness in Education =]

Many people think that if they pursue a good education they will attain a well standard job and career. Now of days some people lose their happiness in school because they major in a career that they think will pay the bills instead of the career they always dreamed to do. Everyone can be happy in achieving an education if they customize their education for themselves, and do occupations they love to do that will also sustain them in their future.  By analyzing what type of learner you are, your passions and your interest can show you how you can be happier in education.

                Everyone has a learning technique.  Some might be similar to others, and some might be completely different. I’m in the zone when I can do my homework in a place that’s not too noisy and not to quite. My room is an example; the TV needs to be on but not too loud. I like when teachers use pictures and videos in class because it helps me picture the topic and actually visualize the concept of what he/she is trying to teach.  I like to study with others and do mini outlines for a paper. My major is Physical Therapy and I love to sing and dance. I am currently with an organization called IMPACT Repertory Theatre where we sing, dance, act and also bring forth how to be a leader and change the world in a positive way. Although I perform with this organization, I would like to minor or major in dance at school. I also like to help others which is why I chose Physical Therapy as my major. I thought if I would do dance I would not be able to find a proper job because some teachers and parent said that it is better to be a doctor than an artist.

                We are persuaded at a very young age that if we pursue an education in health or mathematics we will get farther in life, rather than studying the arts.  We are also persuaded to be a rat racer and ignore the feeling of something we love to do that gives us pleasure. With us also pushing away that feeling we also lose our creativity.  In the video with Ken Robinson he states that human beings are growing out of creativity because we are afraid of being wrong and making mistakes. This can lead to the world to not flourishing properly. In the article of Happiness in Education it explains that in school children to need to follow that path that gives them pleasure and meaning.  Psychologist Csikszentmihalyi discovered "flow" and states, “When in a state of flow we enjoy both peak experience and peak performance: we experience pleasure and perform at our best.”  In this state we are doing something constructive that gives us enough of a challenge and is equal to our skill level; that does not make us feel anxiety or boredom.  This shows that people need to pursue an education where you can be productive, grow, and also receive pleasure; to not be afraid of making mistakes, because mistakes help us keep our originality.

                For me to be happier in acquiring my education I can study in study groups to help me remember information in a fun but more productive way.  I can take a course outside my field like photography and keep a scrap book. I can also do a class in dance or singing.  Joining more clubs and being involved in more activities can also help me be happier in school.  I need to make my education my own so I can succeed and also have happiness.

                Human beings in our society need to discover who they are so they can to see how they can be happier in attaining an education.  We need to have a "flow" in which we are doing both something pleasurable and significant. We need to be brave to be prepared to be wrong so we do not lose who we truly are. People also need to customize their education so it fits them for their present and their future.  Happiness in education can be gained by altering your education to how you are and learning capabilities.